The world of wine can be a serious business. In fact, it can be too serious sometimes. Between observing the colour, admiring the aromas, sipping, swirling and spitting, to mention just a few, it’s easy to forget that we drink wine for pleasure – for fun! Too many dinner parties and wine tastings can be ruined when some self-important know-it-all hogs the conversation, pontificating about some little detail or another. We’ve all been there, and it’s no fun whatsoever. One surefire way to overcome this sort of problem is by cracking a joke or two – wine puns have a way or reminding everybody not to take things too seriously!

12 Wine puns

Here we have assembled for you a list of wine puns that are sure to come in handy next time you need to remind the wine snob in your life not to take wine – or themselves – too seriously!


  • What do you call a dog that likes fine French wine? A Bordeaux Collie!
  • People call me a wine enthusiast, because the more wine I drink the more enthusiastic I become!
  • My wife savoured her glass of Spanish wine and said, “I love you with all my heart, do you know that?” I asked her, “Is that you or the wine talking?” She said, “It’s me talking to the wine, so mind your own business!”
  • They told me that drinking milk makes you stronger, so I drank five glasses of milk and tried to move the wall. I couldn’t! I found the solution though: I drank five glasses of wine and the wall moved by itself!
  • If you can’t be with the one you love, love the wine that you’re with!

  • What did the Tempranillo grape say when it got crushed? Not much, it just let out a little wine!
  • Some people will tell you that wine is full of calories and makes you fat. In my experience, it doesn’t make you fat at all. In fact, it makes you lean – lean against walls, lean against tables and lean against the bar!
  • I drank so much wine last night that when I walked across the dancefloor I accidentally entered – and won – a dance-off!
  • I’m looking forward to when my kids grow up, so that I can drink wine with them and not because of them!
  • The doctor told me to drink eight glasses of water per day, which seems impossible. Why is it that eight glasses of wine per meal is so much easier?
  • Scientists developed a new wine with anti-diuretic properties. They call it Pinot More!
  • My father-in-law got me a bottle of Château Belair 2000 for my birthday. “That’s a very fine wine from an exceptional vintage, so make sure to open it up and let it breathe.” I did as he said, opened it up and to my horror it wasn’t breathing – so I gave it mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!

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